This is an essay from a client of mine and it has 3 mistakes that, in my opinion, are 3 major IELTS Writing mistakes.
In this article, I will explain these mistakes in detail and show you how to avoid them.
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Topic
This client of mine properly paraphrased the statements and claimed that they “firmly agree with this statement”.
Before we start, I need to remind you that my client was supposed to explain why they believed that increasing the prices of sugary products would discourage people from eating sugar.
Mistake 1: Topic Misalignment
Instead of talking about the reason they believed in the increased prices, they talked about how sugary products could compromise people’s health. In other words, this paragraph is about a consequence of consuming sugary products.
As a result, this Body Paragraph is irrelevant to the main argument (agreeing with the statement), and it is off-topic, which is one of the biggest mistakes in IELTS Writing Task 2.
Mistake 2: Generalized explanations
In Body Paragraph 2, my client provided a main idea that despite being rather general, can pass as a relevant one (‘positively impact society’s general well-being’). However, the mistake is with the explanations.
There is no relation between this explanation to sugary products or the increased priced of these goods or the reduced sugar consumption. Looking at it outside of this context, you can use this explanations for every single relevant topic. It is too generic.
Even though after thinking, we can vaguely understand what my client meant, it is still not OK for an IELTS Writing Task 2 essay. The examiner should not have to infer your points; clarity is key.
Mistake 3: Weak Conclusions
There is no summary in this essay’s conclusion. Conclusions should summarize the key points made in the body paragraphs. Failing to do so can leave the examiner without a clear understanding of your stance. A strong conclusion reinforces your argument and ties together the essay’s main ideas.
In this essay, both Body Paragraphs are not well-structured, which makes it difficult to provide any summary in the Conclusion.
This goes to show you the link between all the parts of an essay. If you don’t see an essay as a whole piece of writing with details coherently and cohesively being glued to each other, you will continue making avoidable mistakes like these.
These are the 3 major IELTS Writing mistakes that I believe is not particular to my client. After more than 10 years evaluating IELTS Writing essays, these are the most common mistakes and they have stopped a lot of dreams.
Sometimes, the only way to know the mistakes you are making is to get your writing evaluated.
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